Supporting Someone with OCD
American Psychiatric Association Foundation
Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is a chronic mental health condition in which people experience persistent, unwanted, recurring thoughts, images or urges in addition to compulsions (behaviors that the person performs to reduce distress). Living with OCD can be challenging for both the person experiencing it and their loved ones. If you have been diagnosed with OCD or you are supporting a loved one with OCD, these tips can help you cope while you pursue support from a mental health professional. With the right tools, recovery and resilience are possible for the whole family.
Learn About OCD
Supporting someone with OCD starts with understanding it. Learning what they’re going through can help you respond with empathy, patience, and encouragement.
- Obsessions are unwanted, intrusive thoughts, images, or urges that trigger intensely distressing feelings and do not align with the person’s values.
- OCD presents in many ways. Obsessions can include fear of perceived contamination, fear of acting on an impulse to harm oneself or others, excessive concern about evenness or exactness, unwanted thoughts related to sex and sexuality, and many more.
- Compulsions are behaviors an individual engages in to attempt to decrease distress and that get in the way of everyday functioning.
- Compulsions can include excessive showering, bathing, toothbrushing, grooming, or toilet routines; checking that you did not/will not harm yourself or others; or repeating routine activities and body movements.
Dos and Don’ts of Supporting Someone With OCD
- With the right treatment, people with OCD can live full and meaningful lives. Encourage your family members to seek evidence based mental health treatment, such as exposure and response prevention a type of cognitive behavioral therapy or prescription medication. Offer to help your loved one find the right psychiatrist and/or psychologist, if needed.
- Be patient. Recovery from OCD looks different for everyone, and the more you can avoid personal criticism of your loved one, the better. Remember: what’s bothering you is not the person; it’s their OCD. Acknowledging small improvements in your loved one’s symptoms is a great way to support them.
- Words matter. Avoid using statements like “they’re so OCD” or “everyone is a little OCD.”
- Try not to engage in family accommodation behaviors, which occur when family members (intentionally or not) reinforce or affirm OCD thought patterns. Examples of accommodation behaviors include:
- Providing your loved one reassurance or participating in their rituals.
- It may seem counterintuitive not to provide your loved one with reassurance but doing so only fuels OCD.
- Washing yourself or objects around you more than a reasonable person would in order to accommodate the request of your loved one.
- Following the “rules” of OCD by doing things in certain orders or in the “right” way.
- Providing your loved one reassurance or participating in their rituals.
- Stay curious about OCD and your loved one’s experience. Remember that everyone’s experience with OCD is unique.
Care for Yourself
- When someone is struggling with OCD, their loved ones often experience their own emotional reactions, including guilt, shame, anxiety, frustration, and depression.
- Stay connected to your own support system, whether from friends, family, or an individual therapist.
- Take care of yourself physically and emotionally by getting enough sleep, exercising regularly, eating a healthy diet and having “me” time.
Spread Awareness
- Reduce the stigma around OCD by talking openly about your experiences. If you have OCD, sharing your story can help others feel less alone. If you support someone with OCD, you can speak about how the experience has impacted you while respecting your loved one’s privacy.
- Share OCD resources among your community or on social media to raise awareness of the disorder. A few examples of places to find resources:
Living with OCD is easier with support from friends and family. By learning about OCD, encouraging treatment, and caring for yourself along the way, you are playing a vital role in your loved one’s recovery.
If you or someone you know is experiencing a crisis, hotlines are available for 24/7 confidential support. National Crisis Line – Call or text 988 or visit 988lifeline.org
This resource was written and reviewed by Jessica D. Leuchter, M. D.
Find more resources at mentalhealthcareworks.org