Supporting Someone in Recovery from Alcohol or Substance Use Disorder

Recovery from alcohol or substance use disorder looks different for everyone, but maintaining sobriety is always easier with support from friends, family, and community. Remember that substance use disorder is a disease, and recovery is possible. 

How to Start Supporting Recovery

By being patient, believing in your loved one’s ability to heal, and recognizing the signs of addiction early, you can play an important role in encouraging treatment and supporting lasting recovery. 

• Learn all that you can about substance use disorders (SUDs), and options for treatments. 
• Speak up and offer your nonjudgemental support. Talk to the person about your concerns, and offer your help and support, such as going with them to get help. The earlier SUD is treated, the better. If they are not ready for help, let them know you are going to continue to be there for them.
• Express love and concern. Focus the conversation on specific behaviors and avoid name-calling or blame, which may cause them to shut down. Offer a listening ear if your loved one is willing to share their experience.
• Do not expect the person to change without help. Treatment, support, and new coping skills are needed to overcome addiction.

Continuing Support Through Treatment

Recovery support is an ongoing process and does not end when your loved one is receiving treatment or going to meetings.

• Remain involved. The goal is to let them know you care and are available when they need someone in their corner.
• Help your loved one avoid recurrence by supporting awareness of personal triggers, like stressful situations, certain environments, or difficult emotions, and encouraging them to use coping strategies.
• Celebrate milestones and effort. Even one day or one week of not using substances can be a reason to celebrate. 

What to Avoid When Offering Support

Keep these guidelines in mind to help you offer support that’s compassionate, constructive, and effective.

• Avoid lectures, threats, bribes, or emotional appeals, which can worsen shame and lead to isolation or the compulsion to use.
• Do not cover up, lie or make excuses for their behavior; open and honest communication is vital for people with SUD to get the help they deserve.
• Avoid confrontations with someone who is intoxicated; they may not be able to have a meaningful or rational conversation, and it could escalate.
• If you find yourself feeling guilty for their behavior, know that it is not your fault; people with SUD are suffering from a disease and it is not caused by any one person or action.

Navigating Recurrence of Use

Return to use or recurrence of use is a common part of the recovery process. It’s an opportunity to learn and does not mean treatment, or that your loved one has “failed.”

• You may feel discouraged, but one of the most important ways you can show up for your loved ones during the recovery process is by giving them reassurance and encouragement after a recurrence.

Taking Care of Yourself, Too

Substance use disorder often takes a toll on entire families, and it can lead to feelings of anger and despair. Don’t place your own wellbeing on hold while you support your loved one’s sobriety.

• It’s okay to set boundaries when supporting your loved one (such as “I can drive you to work and to AA meetings, but I can’t drive you to hang out with friends who you’ve used with in the past”).
• Peer support groups are available. Al-Anon and Alateen specifically support the families and friends of those struggling with alcohol use disorders. SAMHSA also offers resources for family groups coping with substance use disorders.

If you or someone you know is experiencing a crisis, hotlines are available for 24/7 confidential support. National Crisis Line – Call or text 988 or visit 988lifeline.org

This resource was reviewed by Smita Das, M.D., Ph.D., M.P.H.

Find more resources at mentalhealthcareworks.org