Starting a Conversation About Mental Health

It’s normal to be hesitant to start a conversation about your mental health. Remember that it’s okay not to have the perfect words, and that opening up to people you trust is the first step towards healing. Many people look back on their choice to speak up as a turning point in their mental health journey, and you may eventually feel the same way about taking this brave step.

Talking to Family and Friends

Family and friends are often the first people we turn to when we’re struggling, but being vulnerable about mental health can still be difficult. You might feel uncomfortable before the conversation or worry that you’ll be misunderstood. Here are some tips to make the discussion with your loved ones easier.

• Choose a comfortable time and place when you are not in a rush or transitioning from one activity to the next.
• Explain what you’re feeling. It’s okay not to have all the answers, but be honest about what you’ve been struggling with.
  • “I’ve been really down lately, and I think it’s more than just work stress.”
  • “I feel anxious almost all the time these days, and it’s getting harder for me to sleep through the night.”
• Give them time to process what you’ve shared. Be aware that your loved ones may not know how to respond right away, and anticipate different reactions.
• Be direct about what you need.
  • “I just need someone to listen right now and not offer solutions.”
  • “I’m interested in seeing a therapist. Will you help me look for one?”

Talking to a Partner or Spouse

In a romantic relationship, one person’s mental health challenges can affect both people. Candid communication is a key to staying connected and helping your partner understand what you’re going through.

• Use “I” statements.
  • “I haven’t felt like myself in a few months, and I wanted to be honest about that.”
• Create space for your partner’s feelings, too.
  • “I know you’re probably sad to hear this, but it’s nobody’s fault, and I’m sharing it with you because I care about our relationship.
• Offer actionable suggestions for them to help you, or acknowledge things they already do that are helpful.

Talking to Your Primary Care Provider (PCP)

Your primary care provider (the doctor you see for annual check-ups) is often the first point of contact in the process of accessing mental health care. They can help you understand what you’re struggling with and connect you to a mental health professional, like a psychiatrist or a therapist.

• Describe your symptoms clearly, including changes in mood, sleep habits, diet and appetite, or energy levels.
  • “I haven’t been eating much lately, and I don’t feel happy, even when I meet a deadline at work early or come home to my kids.”
• Connect your symptoms to changes in your life.
  • “I barely do anything after work anymore. I dropped out of my rec basketball league, and when I get home, I usually just go to bed.”
• Share how long you’ve been struggling to help your doctor understand the context of your visit.
• Share any family history of mental health conditions and any medications or supplements you already take regularly.
• Ask about next steps. Your doctor doesn’t have to specialize in the subject to understand what you’re struggling with and refer you to a suitable mental health professional.

You Are Not Alone

• Being vulnerable about your mental health can feel painful or awkward, but it’s a powerful sign of bravery that can help combat the stigma around mental health conditions. You deserve support.

If you are experiencing thoughts of self-harm or feeling unsafe, reach out for help immediately. Call or text 988 to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline or visit your nearest emergency room.